If you’ve been following me on social media, then you already know that on November 14th, I got married to the love of my life, Oscar. (If you aren’t following me on social media, what are you waiting for? ) This decision and day was a secret we kept from mostly everyone, except family and close friends, for various reasons.
Now that it is public information, I’m very happy we decided to keep everything on the low. Let me clarify, I’m not one to think that people/social media can mess up your relationship. I believe that only your partner and you are responsible for your relationship and what affects it. However, when it comes to engagements/marriages/babies EVERYONE has something to say or add to the conversation you never knew you were having with others. So to avoid that, we didn’t say anything and did what felt best to us.
The only downside from keeping this low key was my inability to ask for assistance. In today’s world, the easiest thing to do is go on Facebook and ask people for help! I love going on there and asking for help that isn’t easily answered by Google. Some questions I had were region/city specific and a lot of my Google searches turned up empty. If you know me, I have a million questions so not having the answers gave me so much anxiety! I’m the type of person that if I can’t envision how something is going to happen, I’m going crazy! I was even trying to Google what the vows were. Overall though, I learned a lot about an experience that I hopefully never have to go through again! However, if you are looking to get married (or elope) at the courthouse, I got all the deets for you! So here is my list of things I didn’t know about getting married (at least in Reading, PA):
- You just can’t “walk in the courthouse” and get married after you get your marriage license.
TV and movies make it seem like you can just get the license and be on your jolly way to marital bliss. WRONG! Different cities/states vary of course, but in Reading, you need to schedule the date and time.
- There is no main courthouse to get married at.
I grew up in Reading for the majority of my life and truly believed the main courts were all on 6th and court. It wasn’t until I got the marriage license, that I realized that isn’t true. After we got our marriage license, they gave us a list of judges to call to schedule a “ceremony.” I called at least 6 of them only to be told that most of them don’t marry people anymore! I was beyond annoyed. Why give me that whole sheet, if only one or two do it?
- Finding a SIMPLE white dress in October/November is like finding a needle in a haystack!
I’ll say this right away: I hate shopping. Online, in store, whatever! I don’t mind window shopping, but if I really need something, I never find it. For the life of me, I could not find a white dress that was appropriate! (Keyword: appropriate.) I initially was going to wear a blush pink dress because I decided I would wear white to our celebration party. BUT, I couldn’t find a white party dress so I decided to make my party dress a different color. Then, I couldn’t find a white courthouse dress but I already bought the party dress! I ordered a white midi dress and it didn’t feel right. Finally, the night before I went shopping I went out and found the dress I wanted all along! (Shout out to TJ Maxx!)
- You DO need rings
Of course, my ring size is not the standard size so my real engagement/wedding band set won’t be ready for three weeks. I was like, “Okay, cool. I’ll just forgo that and it will be okay.” Sike….. A dear close friend who was married in the court a few years ago told me we NEEDED rings. We did find Oscar’s ring in his size, however, I needed to buy a fashion ring! Luckily, the fashion ring is somewhat similar to my real rings.
Another side note about the rings is that EVERYONE wants to see it. People will grab your hand mid conversation (which is rude by the way, just ask) to see it. People will ask why you haven’t posted pictures of it yet. I appreciate the interest but I think some people take it too far.
- Get a photographer! (Or a friend with a nice camera!)
I won’t say that I’m cheap, but I hate spending money (unless it’s on food or makeup.) So when my sister and her husband suggested we have pictures taken, I gave them a hard no. But the more I thought about it, I realized that even though we’re not having a ceremony/dream wedding right now, we should still have pictures, even if they were just for us and family. I hit up an old friend from school who has a photography business (Tiffany Noel Photography and Video) and she blew us away. I love all the pictures she took and can’t wait to get them printed for our home and for our families. I’m glad I listened for once.
- Get ready for the attention (and the questions!)
I mentioned this in last week’s podcast, but unless it is for my blog or podcast, I’m weird with attention. You expect people to be happy and supportive when you get engaged or married, but how many will blow you away! After Oscar and I posted pictures on social media, our phones were blowing up. So many people calling and texting us to wish us well. So many comments on Facebook and Instagram wishing us congratulations. It was a little overwhelming but I enjoyed it. Not only did I marry my best friend, but so many people family, friends, old and new, wanted nothing but the best for our union. People think “oh, it’s just a comment on FB/IG, no big deal,” but to me, it was a big deal and it meant the world! It was a reminder that people love LOVE!Also, people have a lot of questions! Why? How? When? What? Everything! Eloping is still a shock to people, which I completely understand. It’s a road less traveled so people immediately assume everything. The good thing about me is that I’m very easy going so people can ask me without fear of me getting upset or weirded out. (In case you’re wondering: No, I’m not pregnant. And while I’m here: No, no babies for the next 4-5 years.)
My answer to the questions has been this: because we love each other. It sounds cheesy but when you know, you just know. I don’t know what marriage has in store for Oscar and me, but I do know that we will face it together. With a lot of love, and a lot of laughter.