My sister is getting married Saturday. While that sentence is an emotional one for me (more about that in the next post,) it has also consumed my life for the past month. My sister Dahiana, the bride, has come up from Florida to be wed. My other sister Jay, who lives in Memphis, is also here. We spend a lot of our time discussing the wedding. Although most of it is serious, one topic that comes up always has us in tears. It is what we call “The Codes.” “The codes” is a list of things we will be on watch for at the ceremony and reception. In case anyone tries to “pull” something on the list, Jay and I will run into action, and prevent it. This is a compilation of things we have witnessed at weddings, things other people have witnessed at weddings, and of course, the dramatic happenings of movies and tv. If you are not attending the wedding, sit back and join in on the laughs. If you are though, beware, I will be watching every move you make.
Things Not To Do At A Weddings
- Do Not Proclaim Yourself a PhotographerA big part of the wedding budget is the photographer and videographer. This being said, be respectful of that. Feel free to take pictures with your low quality camera, however, do not get in the way of the professions. Be respectful of the area where they are standing, and let them do their job.
- Turn Your Phone Off During The Church CeremonyWe can’t live without our phones. However, I think we can all go an hour without a connection. A lot of family and friends travel long distances to witness the holy union. No one wants to hear the vows interrupted by the latest Drake song. Too many times we have felt the second-hand embarrassment of someone’s phone going off during a special moment. “One Dance” can wait until the reception.
- Slut Shame the Entire Guest List
A few years ago, my family and I attended my cousin’s wedding. At the church, the priest decided this was the appropriate moment to commend the bride on her virginity, and at the same time, shame the entire bridal party and guests. It had to be the most awkward moment of my life. When at weddings, keep your religious, political, and controversial views to yourself.
- Propose To Someone ElseI understand that weddings can be very emotional and inspiring. When you see a couple so in love, it motivates you to achieve the same level of commitment. However, someone else’s wedding is not the time. Do not steal someone’s shine, money, and time by making it your moment. This is not for you and your love. Save it for the next family gathering.
- Interrupt the Service to Confess Your Undying Love
Get outta here, fake ass Romeo
Most people are together a few years before they get engaged. Once they are engaged, they spend at least a year or two preparing the wedding. The ceremony is not the place to confess your love. I’m sorry, you had at least 2+ years to get your shit together and confess. If you wait until the day of the ceremony, this proves the reason why the other person is getting married, and you are left to desperate, attention seeking antics; you ain’t shit. So turn off Aventura’s “La Boda,” and make plans out of town that day.
- Get Too Drunk
Let us not
Weddings are fun! If you are a relative of the bride or groom, you get to be around family, relaxing and dancing the night away. Of course, the best part is the open bar! Although the bar is open, this does not mean you have to be open too! You should drink enough to be lightly buzzed, but not to embarrass yourself and your relatives. Weddings are supposed to be remembered, but for the good reasons! No one wants to look back and remember that cousin Joe was so drunk, he threw up on the bride. One of my friends advised me that at a wedding she attended, the groom got so drunk, he kissed his cousin! Let’s not do that.
- Wear White
Unless the bride is Solange, and ask you to wear white
This should really go unsaid. However, at the last wedding I went to, someone did not get the memo. DO NOT DO IT! I would probably embarrass you, but I’m sure the glare of the other guest will embarrass you enough.
- Get Into A Fight
The day of the wedding is already stressful. Up to the reception, everyone wants to make sure everything goes right. This is not the time to remember that one thing cousin Lucy did, however many years ago. Tensions are already high, do not make them higher. Anything that bothers you, can wait another day. Do not make someone else’s moment about you.